Finding beauty in an upside down world.
As I sit in my home office to write this blog we are in the middle of a world wide pandemic of COVID-19, novel coronavirus that is shutting down the globe and sickening and killing people at an alarming rate. We have yet to reach its peak here in Florida where I live. In other words, the worst is yet to come.
For most of us, our world has been turned upside down. Thousands are sick and likely hundreds of thousands will be sick and perhaps 200,000 people in this country will die. Worldwide, the numbers will be much, much larger. It's an unsettling time. Most of us are not scared at this point, but we are anxious, uncertain, unable to take any direct action to bring about a significant change. We wash our hands, sanitize our phones, practice social distancing and work from home. Our kids are out of school. Families are cooped up together in their own homes for extended periods of time. We are bored. We are wandering, lost, uncertain.
Most of us recognize that if we, all of us, practice social distancing we can eventually slow the spread, buy time for treatments and vaccinations and hospital beds and ventilators to be built. Many of us are trying to find ways to help in our own way. Some sew masks and gowns for health care providers, some invent ventilators, some put teddy bears in their windows, others put thank you notes out for people picking up our trash. Slowly, we are understanding that we are all in this together, that we can do things to help one another. This is a Silver Lining I think. Honestly, when is the last time you sent a thank you note to the person picking up your trash? We don't regularly think about strangers around us or seek ways to say "hello" or give back, not on a national scale anyway. Recognizing that we are not alone, although we are socially distant, and that we are part of something larger -- our community, our state, our nation, the world, the human race -- maybe has ripple effects for time to come.
Silver Lining #1
We are all in this together and we can help one another.
Another major impact of this experience for most of us is a loss of the sense of control. We know we cannot control this thing. We are learning that all we can control is how we respond to it (wash our hands, social distancing, staying home) right now. How often has this been a goal of psychotherapy? Many of us want to control as much in our lives as possible. We think that this makes us less anxious and better positioned. We don't want to leave our lives to fate. The need to be in control often is what makes us anxious, drives away our family and friends and makes us miserable. Perhaps as a result of this worldwide life lesson we will learn that rather than being in control (which we cannot be) it is far better to be resilient (which we can be). Silver Lining #2 is learning that we are resilient. Undoubtedly, some of us will suffer more than others. Some of us are out of work, have no way to pay the bills or feed the kids. Some of us will get sick and need health treatment. All of us who survive this pandemic will be resilient. We will all go on with our lives. We will rebuild, refinance, move, change jobs, adapt, adjust and move forward. When you recognize that you have the ability to handle whatever comes your way you can enjoy surfing the waves rather than trying to control them. Maybe as a result of COVID-19 we will all learn to surf.
Silver Lining #2
We are resilient and we can all surf.
While we are all cooped up at home, many of us are doing projects that we have pushed aside for a long time. Some of us are learning new hobbies or skills. Most of us are spending a lot more time with our families than we ever have. Suddenly we discover that we have a whole lot more free time on our hands. We are not so busy, rushed or hurried. Sure, initially this is gonna be hard to get used to. We will get restless, bored. But, over time (let's face it, this is going to take longer than any of us would wish), we may discover that we actually like having time to garden, read, make model airplanes with the kids, go for a run, play with the dogs, you fill in the blank. The point is that whenever we return to "normal" we are going to have to restart and rebuild a lot. And, we suddenly have a golden opportunity to build a new normal for ourselves and our families and maybe for our communities, our country, our world? Think big. Like rebuilding a home that is destroyed by fire, do you rebuild it exactly like it was before or do you correct things that you always wanted to change? You get the point. Silver Lining #3 is a time out for course corrections in our lives. Build a better you and a happier life.
Silver Lining #3
We can rebuild it better than before.
Three seems like a good number for now. If you feel lost and overwhelmed and uncertain of what to do today, join the team! Do the best you can. Keep yourself and others safe. Enjoy down time with your family. Learn to surf. Here comes another wave.
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